Why I spend more time looking for fic than actually reading it
Me: How about a quick fic before bed?
Internet: Here's a nice 100k multi-chapter fic in a series.
Me: Ah, no thanks. Not exactly quick, is it?
Internet: How about modern AU?
Me: Nah, not in the mood.
Internet: What about genderbent fic?
Me: No, thanks. Not really my thing.
Internet: How about some mpreg?
Me: No, thanks.
Internet: Noncon?
Me: No.
Internet: Underage?
Me: NO.
Internet: Major character death?
Me: NO. GOD NO. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??
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